Confessions of a Sudanese Soldier

Face to Face: Confronting the Enemy

"They are black; I am black; This shouldn't be happening." When CNN Senior International Correspondent, Nic Robertson, interviewed "Adam" a soldier for the Sudanese government's secret army, he found himself conflicted about how to feel about the man across from him.

This man, he knew, was responsible for raping and murdering the people of Darfur. The same people he and his colleagues had forced to relive their horrific experiences in the name of news and justice. This man was the enemy, but why did Mr. Robertson feel empathy for this poor soul.

Once you realize what these soldiers were put through, you may too. "Adam" and his fellow "black" soldiers were conscripted to the army in about 2002 unaware that they would be forced to fight people they felt closer to than those they fought beside. They were not paid and were made to believe they were only there temporarily. Many were collected at the local marketplace, given a Kalashnikov and told to fire at targets.

The Fighting Begins

When his commander announced that they would soon head off to burn and kill people, "Adam" began to realize what was going on. He finally saw what they wanted of him; they expected him to fight and kill people like himself for someone else to gain. By then, there was no getting out, because, at the same time, the commanders also announced that anyone who tried to escape would be killed.

"Adam" then moved on to a more grave topic. He discussed what happened in the raids. Men were forced to rape women and girls alike. He spoke softly of this, the only hint to Nic that the man did not like what he had done. He spoke of taking down his pants and just laying on a girl because he was unable to get it up. He spoke of watching men double team women as they cried out in fear and pain. In some of the camps correspondent Robertson visited, he was told that some 20 babies were born every month as a result of these rapes. Many of these children have been abandoned by their mothers, who could not stand to look at them without experiencing a flood of mental and emotional flashbacks of the terrible events.

Escaping the Army

At one point, "Adam" came very close to escaping the army but was caught. As a punishment, he was tied to a tree with burning tires hanging above him. He showed Nic the scars from where the melted rubber had scorched his skin. Eventually, however, he managed to escaped for good.

After leaving one army, he went to find his sisters and they helped him join the other. Knowing he came from the army they were fighting left his new allegiance suspicious of him. He was not allowed to fight for the rebels, and, instead, was forced to remain in the camp day in and day out. It was not until the camp was bombed that he even got away.

As much as one resents this man for his part in the destruction of the people of Darfur, one must also pity him for how much he too was fucked with. Can you imagine being forced to do such gruesome things? This is not to say that every "black black" fighter on the Sudanese side was innocent, but that the real criminal behind it all was the government of Sudan. These men were mere pawns in a greater game. They were disposable soldiers. Who is to say that the government was not specifically picking these men to literally KILL two birds with one stone?

The only people who really won in this war were those who sat back and watched. When will we finally hold those people accountable? It will be a glorious day when someone puts that ASSHOLE, Omar Al-Bashir, behind bars.

I am sorry for my inappropriate language, but this article has brought emotions out that I never knew I had in me. If this article doesn't make you want to get out and do something for the people of Darfur, then I do not know what would.